I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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