Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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