Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
