life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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