went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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