Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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