I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
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And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I stole a fireplace last night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
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Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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