btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You ate ashes out of my bong
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
