Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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