So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
