Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
