Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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