Tell her she can't have a vagina
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
