Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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