Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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