I accidentally burped into my bong.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
