The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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