Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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