I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
