theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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