you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
