I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
