he thought i was a dude.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
