who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
