She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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