mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
