FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
