I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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