I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
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Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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