Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
