people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
