This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
