haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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