K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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