So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
