i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Come share oat with me in your robe
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
