Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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