i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
