just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
