After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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