just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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