then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
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Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
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she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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