seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
