Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If I die, sorry about rent.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
