$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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