They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
