i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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