Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
