you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
