Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
