I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
