Soap is not a condiment
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
