The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
