I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
