I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
