is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
