somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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