Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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