Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
